My poem:
PRIMARY SCHOOL
Students running everywhere in the morning
Going around laughing, laughing and laughing
Some times I say, “I just don’t get them!”
Others say “ Never mind, just join them!”
First day of new teachers won’t be as good as they think
They’ll feel that their boat is gonna sink
Coz as the saying goes “ When the teacher’s away,
The students will play”
Primary school life maybe tough
But it’s not always rough
There are times when you can play
There are times that I rather not say
Teachers will always think of you
Even when you leave the school
After all, it’s just six years
But I have to warn you, it’s just the start of your fears
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I think that your choice of words are too casual. In a poem, you should try to use more proper english as it is not a conversation with your friends, but rather for others to enjoy. Even so, I feel that the imagery created as a primary school student is very unique and very "Singaporean". Great use of rhyming words! Keep up the good work Carlin!
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